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May 13, 2019 by Megan Evans

Sexual Assault Action Plan for Saskatchewan Released Today!

 

SASS Action Plan: Working TogetherSexual Assault Services Saskatchewan (SASS), of which SSAIC is a member agency, released their 22-point action plan today, Monday, May 13, 2019. This release was timed to kickoff to Sexual Violence Awareness Week in the province of Saskatchewan, running May 13 – 17.

SSAIC Executive Director Faye Davis on the importance of taking timely action in regards to this plan:

“As a member of SASS, SSAIC is proud to be delivering this Saskatchewan Violence Action Plan to the people of Saskatchewan. The vast number of survivors of sexual assault in desperate need of services and support speaks to the urgency of this issue.

In the last few years many survivors have taken the brave step of breaking their silence about their victimization, drawing attention to their needs and saying enough is enough.

We, as citizens of this province, now need to break our silence as well. It is time for us all to come together to say, we hear you, and we will work for you. This plan is an important first step in calling us all to action.”

Download the plan today to learn more about the recommended points of action, and what you can do to support the work of SSAIC and other SASS member agencies.

Filed Under: Awareness, Blog, General Information, Newsletter Tagged With: ending sexual violence saskatchewan, SAVM2019, sexual assault saskatchewan, sexual violence action plan saskatchean

April 16, 2019 by Megan Evans

Consent 201: Having the Consent Conversation

 

Written By Stephanie Locke, SSAIC Counsellor, MSW/RSW

 

Now that we know the basics of consent, it’s time to dig deeper so that we can all approach the consent conversation enthusiastically. “Affirmative consent” is an enthusiastic, voluntary, and mutual agreement among all parties to engage in sexual activity.

Consent can be communicated by words or actions; however, actions must provide unquestionable agreement regarding a person’s willingness to participate in the sexual activity¹.

Here are some tips that will help you to have the consent conversation with your partner(s):

Obtaining Enthusiastic Consent

Establish mutual interest before even considering sexual activity

  • If you’re flirting with someone, are they giving me eye contact, leaning in, expressing excitement?
  • Are you on the same page? (For example, are you looking for a relationship, but they’re looking for a casual hook-up?)

Negotiate consent verbally

  • Be explicit in asking for what you want

Yes, this can feel vulnerable, but consider how vulnerable you might leave someone feeling if you act without asking

Negotiate consent non-verbally

  • Practice reading your partner’s body language in non-sexual settings and check in with them to make sure you are reading them correctly
  • Understand that non-verbal cues can indicate “no” or a withdrawal of consent (E.g. pulling away, turning away, stiffening up)
  • Understanding your partner’s non-verbal cues might help you to come to a point in your relationship where you and your partner agree on an ‘only no means no’ approach to consent. This is when your partner permits you to touch their body in anyway within pre-established boundaries unless they explicitly say “no”

Encourage your partner to communicate with you

  • Check in with your partner during sex; remind them that they can say “no”. Ask, “Can I ____?”; “Is this okay?”
  • Check-in with your partner after sex. Ask, “How are you doing?”; “Would you want to do that again?”; “How was that for you?”; “I would like to try ____ next time, what do you think?”

Be aware of what makes your partner vulnerable

  • Avoid partners who are intoxicated; don’t exploit their vulnerabilities
  • If your partner has a history of sexualized trauma make it comfortable for them to talk about any relevant triggers and what helps them ground when they react to a trigger

Err on the side of caution

  • You won’t ruin the mood by checking in, but you will absolutely ruin any mood if you cross someone’s boundaries!

 

Providing Affirmative Consent

Communicate your intentions and limitations

  • Let your partner know what you are looking for; discuss your
  • Don’t assume that you and your partner are on the same page

 Discuss the kind of consent that works for you

  • Do you want your partner to explicitly ask you before an escalation in intimacy or change in sexual activity? Maybe you use the “only no means no” approach. Some people are somewhere in between

Learn how to say “no” and get comfortable doing it

  • Practice saying “no” and setting boundaries in situations that aren’t sexual
  • Get to know yourself. Are you a people pleaser? Do you find it hard to say “no”? Consider working with a counsellor to address these tendencies

Provide continuous feedback to your partner

  • Give your partner positive feedback. Let them know what they are doing right so they keep giving you more of that!
  • Use verbal cues, “I like that”; “Yes!” and non-verbal cues, such as kissing, or pulling your partner closer

Err on the side of caution

  • If you are unsure it’s best to say “no” for now. Talk about it further before deciding whether or not to try it (and don’t be afraid to have that conversation outside of the bedroom!)
  • In the same way you can always revoke consent and change your mind to a “no”, you can also change your mind to a “yes”

 

References

  1. The State University of New York. (2019). Definition of affirmative consent.

Filed Under: Blog, Education and Resources, General Information Tagged With: enthusiastic consent, having the consent conversation, how to ask for sex, no means no, non verbal consent, sex and communication, talking about consent, verbal consent

April 12, 2019 by Megan Evans

Consent 101 – The Basics

 

Written By Stephanie Locke, SSAIC Counsellor, MSW/RSW

 

Everyone is talking about it, but what exactly is consent?

Con•sent /kƏn’sent/

  1. (noun) permission for something to happen or agreement to do something
  2. (verb) give permission for something to happen or to agree to do something¹

Consent is agreement or approval for something proposed by another person. ‘Person A’ asks for what they want, and ‘Person B’ willingly gives permission for it to happen. Easy right? But there’s more. When it comes to sex, consent is a conversation that takes place before, during, and after any sexual activity.

 

Did you know that consent is an essential element of sex?

 The Criminal Code of Canada defines consent as “the voluntary agreement of the complainant to engage in the sexual activity in question” and without consent, a sexual offence has taken place.

According to the Canadian Criminal Code, consent CANNOT be given under the following conditions:

  • The “yes” is provided by someone else
  • Sex is obtained through an abuse of power, trust, or authority
  • One person does not say “yes” or says or implies “no” through words or actions
  • One of the partners has changed their mind
  • One person is unable to give consent (unconscious, sleeping, or intoxicated)²

Cartoon by Kirkham, A. (2015).

The consent conversation is an ongoing dialogue between people who are sexually active with each other. It’s a two-part process that involves ‘Person A’ obtaining consent and ‘Person B’ providing consent. Our next post will discuss specific tips for obtaining and providing enthusiastic consent, so stay tuned. Consent is often talked about in terms of “enthusiasm” because it’s important that the person giving consent does so willingly and passionately. Consent that is not given in earnest is moving down a slippery slope toward coercion.

Here are some facts and myths about consent that might help clear up any questions:

  • Fact: The definition of consent is about agreement and permission. Ultimately consent is about saying “yes”. It’s about making sure that your partner is a willing participant in whatever sexual activity you take part in.

            Myth: Consent is all about saying “no”.

  • Fact: It is the responsibility of the person who is seeking to engage in a specific sexual activity to obtain consent before moving on to that activity, regardless of their sex or gender. Consent isn’t a heteronormative concept; it applies to all people, all genders, all sexualities.

            Myth: It’s a man’s job to get consent from a woman.

  • Fact: Consent is an ongoing conversation. Permission is required before moving to a different sexual act, whether that’s kissing, feeling, penetration, or otherwise. Permission is also required each time you want to engage in that act again. Permission once isn’t permission forever.

            Myth: You only have to ask once.

  • Fact: Sexual assault will definitely “ruin the mood”. In fact, consider that if asking for consent will “ruin the mood”, you may be the only person IN the mood to begin with.

            Myth: Asking for consent might ruin the ‘mood’.

 

Finally, if you’re feeling iffy about all of this consent business, consider this:

If you can’t talk to your partner about sex, should you even being doing it with them in the first place?

 

References

  1. Google Dictionary. (2018). Consent.
  2. Government of Canada. (2019). Justice Laws Website.

Filed Under: Blog, Education and Resources, General Information Tagged With: consent, consent myths and facts, definition of consent, how do i know if i have consent, sexual consent, what does consent mean

August 23, 2018 by Megan Evans

My life after sexual assault: How I was finally able to move on and heal from the pain

 

This is an illuminating article, written from a survivor point of view, that discusses life *after* sexual violence; about finding a healthy relationship, and having her partner’s support while she moves forward in her journey towards healing.

 

Thank you for sharing this perspective that is often left out of media conversations — because recovering and reclaiming one’s power on the other side is a story that needs to go viral. Link to the CBC article here.

Filed Under: Awareness, Blog, Education and Resources

August 1, 2018 by Megan Evans

Webinar: Working with Victims of Sexual Violence

 

Our Manager of Communications & Development, Megan Evans, recently created a webinar for legal professionals who work with victims of sexual violence.  If you are a legal professional, this qualifies as a 1-hour ethics professional development credit. Check out the recording if you are interested in how trauma affects memory, and how to best work with victims of trauma and violence.

Working with Victims of Sexual Violence (CPD-205) – RECORDED VERSION

Held on Wednesday July 25, 2018 ||  Presenter: Megan Evans, SSAIC

To access the recorded version, click on the link below and complete the registration form.

Recorded Version Link 

Below are the links to the webinar materials:

PowerPoint Link 

Filed Under: Education and Resources Tagged With: professional development saskatoon, sk law society cpd, ssaic public education

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Saskatoon Sexual Assault & Information Centre

SSAIC is a Saskatoon-based, non-profit, charitable organization dedicated to taking a leadership role in responding to sexualized violence in our community.

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