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March 19, 2021 by Morgan Price

March 2021 Newsletter

COVID-19 Updates

SSAIC is open! We are currently serving clients of sexualized violence over the telephone only and proving public education virtually. Due to the increase of COVID-19 cases in Saskatchewan, SSAIC is closed to walk-ins and in-person counselling at this time.

We are taking new clients and would encourage those who need our assistance to call our office during office hours and speak to one of our counsellors. Our 24-hour crisis line is fully functional and available to assist anyone who needs our help.

We have expanded our services to include more online resources for survivors. Please check out our Survivors Toolkit for additional resources and videos. 

What’s New at SSAIC

SSAIC is back with our second annual 50/50 Online Raffle!

As a nonprofit organization, fundraising is an essential part of running a successful service in our community. Our counselling and crisis line services have always been 100% free to survivors and their loved ones, and we are dedicated to keeping them that way. 

This year, we’ve themed our raffle “Bet on Survivors” because of the resilience and strength all survivors each inherently hold. We know we’d bet on survivors – would you?

Raffle ends March 31st with a Facebook Live draw for the winner! Don’t miss it!

Help us hit our fundraising goal by purchasing your tickets today.

Learning Opportunities

Supporting Survivors of Sexualized Violence Training (SST) is a program created by SSAIC and designed to train professionals and community members alike to receive disclosures and support survivors in a compassionate and trauma-informed way.

Click on any of the following links to register yourself for SST:

2-Hour Trainings ($50):

April 15th, 2021 (3:00pm – 5:00pm)

October 6th, 2021 (3:00pm – 5:00pm)

Full Day Trainings ($150):

May 20th, 2021 (9:00am – 4:00pm)

November 23rd, 2021 (9:00am – 4:00pm)

SSAIC’s Online Learning Workshop Series are updated each season with new and exciting webinars related to sexualized violence. Our webinars are aimed at any and everyone from professionals to the general public with a thirst to learn. Join us live through Zoom, or register and watch later.

Add a ticket to your cart, fill out the order form, and get ready to learn!

Exploring the Impacts of Sexualized Violence – March 23rd @ 2:30pm

Sexualized violence affects 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men before the age of 18. This means you know survivors. They are your coworkers, your friends, your students.

Learn about the various impacts that survivors of sexualized violence experience from the top down, and how that understanding will make you a better ally.

Examining Sexualized Violence Through a Queer Lens – April 13th @ 3:00pm

We spend a lot of time examining the impacts and reach of sexualized violence in our communities, so it’s essential to include everyone in the narrative. Join us as we look deeper at sexualized violence with our friends at OUTSaskatoon.

Learn about the unique ways Two Spirit, Trans, and Queer folks in Saskatchewan experience sexualized violence, expand your understanding of SV and intersectionality, and learn what you can do to ensure your trauma-informed practice includes 2SLGBTQ affirming skills.

Confident businesswomen stand together. Strong females entrepreneurs support each other. Vector Concept of equitable participation of women in politics and business.

The Women’s Legal Education & Action Fund (LEAF) is a dedicated advocate for gender equality with a focus on litigation, law reform, and public education. LEAF has played a significant role in advancing Canadian sexual assault laws. Freedom from violence, including sexual violence, is a necessary condition for gender equality. Check out their work here.

Sexualized Violence in the News

Demi Lovato Says She Was Sexually Assaulted As A Teen, And Again Before Overdose, Huffington Post

Demi Lovato discusses being sexually assaulted in a new docuseries about her life. “Demi Lovato: Dancing with the Devil,” a four-part series that premiered this week at the SXSW film festival, contains details about the singer’s life, including her overdose in 2018. According to reports on the premiere, Lovato said that on the night she overdosed, she was “taken advantage of” by a drug dealer who allegedly gave her heroin “laced with fentanyl.” Read more…

The Regina Police Service Headquarters.

Regina doctor charged with sex offences, Regina Leader-Post

A Regina physician has been charged after a police investigation into complaints of sexual offences. Dr. El-Fallani A. Mohammed, 65, has been charged with two counts of sexual assault on a person under age 16, sexual assault, and two counts of sexual interference (which refers to touching directly or indirectly with a part of the body or an object anyone under age 16 for a sexual purpose). Read more…

Who pays the price for climate crisis

One in three women worldwide experience violence in their lifetime, WHO says, CNN World

“Around 736 million, are subjected to physical or sexual violence by an intimate partner or sexual violence from a non-partner — a number that has remained largely unchanged over the past decade,” the WHO statement adds. “Violence against women is endemic in every country and culture, causing harm to millions of women and their families, and has been exacerbated by the Covid-19 pandemic,” Dr Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, WHO Director-General, said in a statement Tuesday. Read more…

Ways to Give to SSAIC

Looking for ways to give to SSAIC? Click any of the options below to get started!

  • Becoming a recurring donor. This is the most helpful kind of donation we can receive, as it helps us consistently plan for the future with reliable donations monthly or annually. All donations are greatly appreciated.
  • Bring your recyclables to SARCAN. By using the code “I believe you” at the Drop-n-Go stations or at the register, you can donate your recycling funds straight to SSAIC and protect the environment all at once!
  • Shop our survivor-themed merchandise. Our online store is fully stocked with plenty of our survivor phrase t-shirts, sweatshirts, and mugs – order yours straight to your door, or come by our office downtown for contactless pickup.
  • Fundraise on our behalf. COVID-19 has impacted us all, and SSAIC is relying on our community supporters now more than ever. If you’re interested in raising money on our behalf, get in contact with our office to discuss opportunities!

Join us on Social Media

@SSAIC1 on Facebook and Instagram

Stay safe and healthy!

Filed Under: Events, Newsletter Tagged With: 50/50, consent, Covid-19, Demi Lovato, donate, LEAF, newsletter, OUTSaskatoon, raffle, sexual abuse, sexual assault, sexual harassment, shop, supporting survivors, supporting survivors training, ways to give

February 18, 2021 by Morgan Price

February 2021 Newsletter

COVID-19 Updates

SSAIC is open! We are currently serving clients of sexualized violence over the telephone only and proving public education virtually. Due to the increase of COVID-19 cases in Saskatchewan, SSAIC is closed to walk-ins and in-person counselling at this time.

We are taking new clients and would encourage those who need our assistance to call our office during office hours and speak to one of our counsellors. Our 24-hour crisis line is fully functional and available to assist anyone who needs our help.

We have expanded our services to include more online resources for survivors. Please check out our Survivors Toolkit for additional resources and videos. 

What’s New at SSAIC

“I’m the Boss of Me” Season Updates

We almost didn’t run “I’m the Boss of Me” this year.

How do we adapt an interactive puppet show into a virtual presentation? Will the impact get lost? Is the content too heavy?

These are all questions we considered in our decision to develop a virtual format of our programming for 2021.

“I’m the Boss of Me” is SSAIC’s child sexual abuse education program for Grade 4 students that runs annually between January and March. Our puppet show tells the story of four friends, two of whom have experienced sexual abuse, as they learn that sexual abuse is not their fault, that it should never be kept a secret, and that there are people who will believe children and provide help and support.

Thank-you so much to every teacher, administrator, and school counsellor that has adapted with us; all of our hard work ensures that the students learn that abuse is never their fault! And a huge thank-you to all of our volunteer facilitators; “ITBOM” would be nothing without you!

Learn more about “I’m the Boss of Me” at SSAIC.ca/ITBOM.

Entertainment & Learning

Winter Learning Workshop Series

Is anyone else still wearing pajamas to work on their couch? We won’t judge you – research shows that comfy clothes create a better learning environment.*

Keep joining our seasonal Online Learning Workshops from the comfort of your home. Check out the two offerings in our Winter Learning Workshop Series (P.S. they’re coming up fast!) and be sure to snag your spot at SSAIC.ca/WLWS.

*Personal research sources, not officially based on science.

Supporting Survivors of Sexualized Violence Training

Survivors of sexualized violence exist all around us; 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys are affected before age 18.

You know survivors; they are your siblings, your coworkers, your clients. But do you know what they need?

Join us for our upcoming session of Supporting Survivors of Sexualized Violence Training on March 10th to learn what to say, what NOT to say, and how your unconscious biases may be impacting your ability to be a strong support person.

Register online today at SSAIC.ca/SST (more dates are available on our website)!

Sexualized Violence in the News

Saskatoon police officer named in lawsuit denies allegation of sexual assault, CTV News

A Saskatoon police constable accused of sexual assault and abuse of power is denying allegations against him by a woman, claiming she was the one who made advances towards him. Angela Skjonsby (pictured) says she wants her experiences to be made public in an effort to inspire other potential victims to come forward. Read more…

‘Untested Evidence’: Sexual assault survivors struggle to access rape kits in Canada, CTV News

By the early 80s, when rape kits first became available to police, they were praised as an important breakthrough. But now, years later, She Matters – an advocacy group for sexual assault survivors has found that the kits are not as accessible as they need to be. A team of volunteers called over 700 hospitals across Canada to look for information on sexual assault evidence kits. What they found startled them: 41 per cent of hospitals in Canada do not have these kits on site. Read more…

A notes on publication bans, Victim Services – Saskatoon Police Service’s Facebook Page

An important part of our job is to inform victims of their rights. One very important right is that to privacy. Please be careful when sharing posts made by members of the public that put perpetrators “on blast”. Victims and survivors have the right to tell their own stories IF and WHEN THEY want to and on their own terms. Read more…

Ways to Give to SSAIC

Looking for ways to give to SSAIC? Click any of the options below to get started!

  • Becoming a recurring donor. This is the most helpful kind of donation we can receive, as it helps us consistently plan for the future with reliable donations monthly or annually. All donations are greatly appreciated.
  • Bring your recyclables to SARCAN. By using the code “I believe you” at the Drop-n-Go stations or at the register, you can donate your recycling funds straight to SSAIC and protect the environment all at once!
  • Shop our survivor-themed merchandise. Our online store is fully stocked with plenty of our survivor phrase t-shirts, sweatshirts, and mugs – order yours straight to your door, or come by our office downtown for contactless pickup.
  • Fundraise on our behalf. COVID-19 has impacted us all, and SSAIC is relying on our community supporters now more than ever. If you’re interested in raising money on our behalf, get in contact with our office to discuss opportunities!

Join us on Social Media

@SSAIC1 on Facebook and Instagram

Stay safe and healthy!

Filed Under: Newsletter Tagged With: child sexual abuse, consent, Covid-19, Covid-19 update, crisis line, i'm the boss of me, impacts of COVID-19 on survivors, sexual abuse, sexual assault, sexual harassment, sexual violence, sexualized violence, supporting survivors, supporting survivors training, survivors toolkit

January 22, 2021 by Morgan Price

January 2021 Newsletter

COVID-19 Update

New year, same COVID-19 restrictions (for now!). Our office will remain closed to the public to keep our staff, clients, and community safe. But rest assured; we are still here for YOU, just from a bit more of a distance. Telephone counselling appointments, our 24-hour crisis line, and our virtual public education will continue. Read our full service restrictions at SSAIC.ca/covid-19.

SSAIC is proud to have remained available to survivors throughout the pandemic in one way or another, and we plan to keep it that way.

Connect with us at our office (306-244-2294) or on our social media accounts @SSAIC1 to stay engaged!

Our website is also a great resource for survivors and allies alike; check out our Survivor’s Toolkit for some handy coping strategies, or our Virtual Group Sessions for a 10-minute session on trauma.

What’s New at SSAIC

Our Holiday Giving Campaign 2020 was incredibly successful, bringing in $15,262 in the month of December, which far exceeded our fundraising goal! Our heartfelt thanks and physically-distanced embrace goes out to YOU. Thank you so much to the community of supporters who have trusted us with their donations and support us so that we can continue to support survivors of sexual violence in the Saskatoon community.

Supporting Survivors of Sexualized Violence Training

Our next two offerings of “Supporting Survivors of Sexualized Violence Training” are coming up fast! Join us for 2 hours or a full 6 hours to learn about communication skills, support tools, and local referral information for survivors of sexualized violence. Become the best support person you can be! Fit for all levels of support people, from general community members to students to professionals, and everyone in between.

Register alone or with your coworkers online here, or visit SSAIC.ca/SST for more information.

Entertainment & Learning

Believing rape myths (like this one, for example) is dangerous and damaging—so long as society believes these myths, survivors of sexualized violence face difficulties coming forward and seeking the help they need.

What is a rape myth?

We’re glad you asked. Rape myths are false beliefs about sexualized violence that work to excuse sexualized violence and create hostility toward survivors. There are so many of them, and they are so prevalent in our society, that it’s easy to accept this misinformation as truth.

To learn more about rape myths, visit our webpage Sexualized Violence 103: Debunking Rape Myths.

On January 18th, also known as Blue Monday, the Native Women’s Association of Canada shared an amazing list of culturally safe resources to access to support your mental health! Read what they had to say:

“There are many culturally-safe resources available for you and your loved ones today and beyond – we’ve shared some of them below.

The Hope for Wellness Helpline offers immediate help to all Indigenous peoples across Canada.
Counselling is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in Cree, Ojibway, and Inuktitut. 1-855-242-3310

NWAC’s team of in-house Elders are here to support you, offering support and building resiliency.
They are available Monday–Friday, from 9–11 a.m. EST and 1–3 p.m. EST.
Toll Free: 888-664-7808

Talk4Healing provides 24/7 culturally sensitive counselling, advice and support to Indigenous women in Ojibway, OjiCree, Cree, English, and French 1-855-554-4325 http://talk4healing.com

Kids Help Phone provides 24/7 anonymous and non-judgemental support to youth and teens in both English and French.
1-800-668-6868 http://kidshelphone.ca.”

Sexualized Violence in the News

Recognizing the Cycle of Traffickers, Hope Restored Canada

Luring is known as the first step in the cycle of trafficking. The trafficker will assess and target the person. Traffickers will commonly prey on those socially marginalized, individuals with history of trauma or abuse, individuals who are in desperation and unhappy with their current life situation -these are few examples with many other possible contributing factors. Read more…

So many files, Saskatchewan internet child exploitation unit has to prioritize: Lambie, Global News

“Luring investigations were quite high … I’m going to attribute that, just myself, to probably everybody being at home. The pedophiles are at home and the kids are at home. They’ve got this Internet platform where they’re all going to mingle and, of course, all the offences are going to stem from that,” Scott Lambie said. Read more…

‘Quiet revolution’ inspired by Regina’s #MeToo movement underway, say advocates, CBC News

Advocates say ripples of change are still happening months after public reckoning on sexual harassment. Lisa Miller wants survivors of sexual violence who shared their stories during Regina’s #MeToo movement to know they didn’t speak out in vain. Read more…

From our Feeds

Ways to Give to SSAIC

Looking for ways to give to SSAIC? Click any of the options below to get started!

  • Becoming a recurring donor. This is the most helpful kind of donation we can receive, as it helps us consistently plan for the future with reliable donations monthly or annually. All donations are greatly appreciated.
  • Bring your recyclables to SARCAN. By using the code “I believe you” at the Drop-n-Go stations or at the register, you can donate your recycling funds straight to SSAIC and protect the environment all at once!
  • Shop our survivor-themed merchandise. Our online store is fully stocked with plenty of our survivor phrase t-shirts, sweatshirts, and mugs – order yours straight to your door, or come by our office downtown for contactless pickup.
  • Fundraise on our behalf. COVID-19 has impacted us all, and SSAIC is relying on our community supporters now more than ever. If you’re interested in raising money on our behalf, get in contact with our office to discuss opportunities!

Join us on Social Media

@SSAIC1 on Facebook and Instagram

Stay safe and healthy!

Filed Under: Events, Newsletter Tagged With: ally, allyship, child abuse, consent, counselling, Covid-19 update, covid19, crisis line, daily mantras, donate, giving, human trafficking, merchandise, native women's association of canadad, nwac, public education, rape culture, rape myth, resilience, saskatoon, sexual abuse, sexual assault, sexual harassment, sexualized violence, ssaic, supporting survivors, supporting survivors training, survivor, survivors toolkit

December 18, 2020 by Morgan Price

December 2020 Newsletter

Happy December, and end of 2020! Here’s to ending more attitudes and beliefs of rape culture and seeing more survivors thrive in 2021.

COVID-19 Update

It’s with heavy hearts that we’ve made the difficult decision to pull back our in-person appointments to keep our staff, clients, and community safe. But rest assured; we are still here for YOU, just from a bit more of a distance. Telephone counselling appointments, our 24-hour crisis line, and our virtual public education will continue. Read our full service restrictions at SSAIC.ca/covid-19.

SSAIC is proud to have remained available to survivors throughout the pandemic in one way or another, and we plan to keep it that way.

Connect with us at our office (306-244-2294) or on our social media accounts @SSAIC1 to stay engaged!

Our website is also a great resource for survivors and allies alike; check out our Survivor’s Toolkit for some handy coping strategies, or our Virtual Group Sessions for a 10-minute session on trauma.

What’s New at SSAIC

This year’s #HolidayGivingCampaign is centered around sharing survivor stories and focusing on the incredible resilience and inherent worth of survivors. Read Jill’s story here, a survivor who finds healing through a challenging string of life experiences.

This holiday season, choose to support survivors like Jill. Children, teenagers, and adults alike experience sexualized violence and deserve consistent, trauma-informed support in a timely manner. Your donations make a difference.

A huge thank-you to everyone who donated to SSAIC during #GivingTuesday – we raised $1390 during this short campaign! Our hearts feel full knowing that we are a part of such a generous community.

Stay up-to-date on our #HolidayGivingCampaign 2020 here, and have a happy holiday and new year!

We are so grateful to be the recipient of a Community Initiatives Fund grant for our Child Sexual Abuse Prevention Program, “I’m the Boss of Me!” CIF has been a multi-year funder of this program, contributing to its success and growth over the years. Thank-you, CIF!

Entertainment & Learning

Archeologist Female Character Watching through Magnifying Glass. Anthropologist Scientist Working on Excavations Exploring Ancient Artifacts. Student Study Prehistory Ages. Cartoon Vector Illustration

Impact Case Study – LEAF and Consent Law

This impact case study looks at LEAF’s work in the area of consent law. It analyzes the impact of the litigation carried out by LEAF and its partner organizations in this area. It also provides lessons to help guide our advocacy efforts moving forward. Read more…

  1. Keep your regular routine. A change in routine can lead to additional stress. Try to exercise at your usual time, go to meetings that you normally would, and stick to a sense of normalcy and comfort.
  2. Reinforce boundaries. Maintain your personal boundaries throughout the holiday season and know your own limitations. Don’t do something out of obligation or guilt; listen to your feelings and honour them.
  3. Just say no. It’s okay to say no when you’re asked to do more than you are able. It’s okay to say no to some invitations and okay to say no to those asking for favours. Remember, this is your holiday too!
  4. Be good to yourself. If you’re feeling blue, practice self-care. Do what feels good (guilt-free!) and what you want to do. Be there for yourself.
  5. Ask for help. During the holiday season, we often try to take on too much or do too much on our own. It’s okay to ask for help from family and friends. Whether this means a Zoom date or help with grocery shopping, ask for what you need. Don’t hesitate to reach out for support on our Crisis Line over the holiday season as well.

As 2020 comes to a close, invest some time in your personal growth by perusing our SSAIC Blog. With topics ranging from consent to book reviews to COVID-19, you’re guaranteed to find something that interests you. Cozy up with a cup of tea and a blanket, and get learning!

Sexualized Violence in the News

Saskatchewan amends tenant legislation to provide more protection for people experiencing sexual violence, CBC News

Supreme Court sends signal to appellate courts on sexual assault rulings, The Globe and Mail

stuffed up massages

New governing body to oversee massage therapy regulations in Saskatchewan, Global News

SASKATOON, SK--October 29/2020 - 1207 bridges chetty - Taylor Chetty is a Victim Services worker at the Centre for Children's Justice in Saskatoon. She works with children and youth who have been the victims of physical and sexual abuse as well as online abuse. Photo taken in Saskatoon, SK on Thursday October 29, 2020. (Saskatoon StarPhoenix / Michelle Berg)

Bridges: Taylor Chetty helps families and child survivors of abuse navigate trauma, The Star Phoenix

From Our Feeds

Ways to Give to SSAIC

Looking for ways to give to SSAIC? Click any of the options below to get started!

  • Becoming a recurring donor. This is the most helpful kind of donation we can receive, as it helps us consistently plan for the future with reliable donations monthly or annually. All donations are greatly appreciated.
  • Bring your recyclables to SARCAN. By using the code “I believe you” at the Drop-n-Go stations or at the register, you can donate your recycling funds straight to SSAIC and protect the environment all at once!
  • Shop our survivor-themed merchandise. Our online store is fully stocked with plenty of our survivor phrase t-shirts, sweatshirts, and mugs – order yours straight to your door, or come by our office downtown for contactless pickup.
  • Fundraise on our behalf. COVID-19 has impacted us all, and SSAIC is relying on our community supporters now more than ever. If you’re interested in raising money on our behalf, get in contact with our office to discuss opportunities!

Join us on Social Media

@SSAIC1 on Facebook and Instagram

Stay safe and healthy!

Filed Under: Events, Newsletter Tagged With: ally, allyship, Blog, bloig, boundaries, consent, Covid-19 update, Events, free learning, funders, fundraising, giving tuesday, holiday, holiday giving, holidayboundaries, self care, selfcare, sexual abuse, sexual assault, sexual harassment, sexualized violence, survivors toolkit, thankful thursday, victim blaming

December 11, 2020 by Morgan Price

#HolidayGivingCampaign 2020 – Jill’s Story

Trigger Warning: depictions of sexualized violence

*The following story is a client composite built incorporating the experiences of many real survivors. A composite was created for privacy.

SSAIC’s #HolidayGivingCampaign 2020 – Jill’s Story

—

My name is Jill; I am an adult who identifies as female. Throughout my life, I’ve experienced sexualized violence multiple times, and these experiences have impacted every facet of my life: my physical and mental health, my family, my employment, my friendships and my intimate relationships. Thanks to SSAIC, I’m beginning to get my life back. This is my story. 

I was 6 years old when my uncle sexually abused me for the first time, and he continued to sexually abuse me for the next 9 years. I never told anyone. I loved my uncle, and so did the rest of my family, so I didn’t know how to make sense of the awful things he did to me. I was scared to share what was happening to me with anyone because I didn’t think anyone would believe me, and I didn’t want to cause a rift in my family. These are things my abuser told me would happen, and I believed him. When I turned 15, the abuse gradually stopped. I didn’t know why. I also never knew why he chose me to abuse me in the first place. He told me it was because I was special, so I thought that maybe the abuse stopped because I wasn’t special anymore. 

After the abuse started, I became a very moody child (what was later in my life labelled as anxiety and depression). I tended to overreact or underreact to situations; I rarely felt that my responses to circumstances or to people were considered normal or appropriate. Sometimes large chunks of time would pass by when I wouldn’t really be present, which impacted my learning. I remember all my teachers telling me how much potential I had; I felt stupid for not living up to it. Other times, I would have outbursts in school, so I would get in trouble with my teachers and then with my parents. I had a really hard time making and maintaining friends because my behaviour was so unpredictable. This erratic behaviour carried from the day into the night where I began to have difficulty falling and staying asleep. My relationship with my parents was greatly impacted. They didn’t know how to help me because they didn’t really know what was wrong. I carried these impacts with me into adolescence and adulthood. 

—

The sexual abuse is was experiencing from my uncle had stopped, but the impacts had not. In highschool, I began skipping and got farther and farther behind in my classes. My childhood dream of going to university seemed like it belonged to someone else. I started binge drinking and using marijuana to help me to sleep and to cope with all the emotions and difficulties I was experiencing. I didn’t know how to make things better. I worried about what the result would be if I told someone what happened to me. Fear of the unknown convinced me that telling would make things worse not better, so I kept the secret. I used self-harm to numb my pain, and I struggled with suicidal thoughts. In grade 10, I was sexually assaulted by a friend in his car. We were all drinking at a house party, and when he offered to drive me home, I accepted without thinking twice; I thought I could trust him. This experience led me to question my own judgement and evaluations of people. Now, in addition to not trusting others, I didn’t really trust myself.

I told no one about this assault. I isolated myself, sinking into a deep depression; I’d sleep for days, not eat, shower, or sleep, and cry a lot. My parents were worried, but when their efforts to help me didn’t work, their worry turned to frustration and anger. Whatever self-esteem I had at this point plummeted; I felt ashamed of the assault, and of what others would think about it. I didn’t think I was worthy of help or support, let alone love. I believed that there must be something wrong with me because if there wasn’t something wrong with me, why did this keep happening? It was after this assault I really remember my intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, nightmares, and panic attacks starting. At random points throughout my day, I’d be flooded with memories of the childhood abuse or recent assault, and I’d struggle for hours afterward to calm my mind and body. My substance use increased; I wasn’t able to sleep or to cope with each new day without it. 

—

As a young adult, I was frequently sexually harassed in the street by strangers, at bars by random men, and at my first few serving jobs by customers and employers. Honestly, most of this harassment didn’t compare to the abuse I’d experienced as a child, but each of these situations triggered me, which I didn’t realize at the time. In many respects, I accepted this behaviour as normal, but at the same time, each time I was harassed generated an internal reaction like I was being molested all over again. I couldn’t picture a life where sexualized violence wasn’t a normal part of my day-to-day. My substance use continued in response, and most of my relationships with friends and family continued to deteriorate.

After a string of boyfriends, who, in hindsight, were all abusive to me in one way or another, I married my now ex-husband. I’d only known him for eight months, but he was the nicest man I’d ever been with. My family pressured me to “settle down”, and I was hopeful that marriage would protect me. We had been married for 6 months when things started to gradually change. It was so gradual that at first I didn’t notice, and I certainly didn’t see the behaviours as the “red flags” that I do now. Over time, he became increasingly manipulative, threatening, and eventually violent, both physically and sexually. Once again, I told no one, and dealt with the abuse and the shame in private for years. 

Through early adulthood, I continued to struggle with developing healthy relationships and found it difficult to trust others as well as myself. I had difficulties with sexual intimacy, often experiencing triggers during sex. I had challenges with knowing and maintaining healthy boundaries; I never said “no” to people I wanted to like me. At some family events, when I knew my abusive uncle would be there, I either wouldn’t go or experienced great anxiety and would suddenly leave. I still have a strained relationship with various family members, including my parents, due to the impacts of sexualized violence that I have experienced and that they don’t know about. 

—

My world changed when my abusive uncle was charged with abusing another young girl. I was horrified and flooded with guilt that I had never told anyone about him abusing me; perhaps if I had told, he wouldn’t have hurt anyone else. Feeling overwhelmed with my secret, I told a close friend about my history of sexual violence. She was incredibly supportive and gently encouraged me to see a counsellor. I resisted for a while but eventually agreed to therapy. That’s when my friend brought me to SSAIC. 

I told my counsellor everything, but not all at once. It took me several sessions to fully open up and share my whole story. My counsellor validated my experiences, allowed me to cry, and didn’t push me to tell my story before I was ready. They taught me about triggers and flashbacks, and how to manage them. They shed light on so many other impacts I’d experienced that I would never have connected to the violence I endured. In addition, they were able to refer me to other healthcare professionals. I was able to see a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with post-traumatic stress disorder, general anxiety disorder and depression and helped create a suitable treatment plan with me. 

There were approximately 23 years between my first experience of sexualized violence to when I accessed counselling services for the first time here at SSAIC.

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I’m now in my 30’s, single, and working to heal the trauma from my past. I’ve developed a strong network of professional and personal supports, which I couldn’t have done without the assistance of SSAIC. For the first time, I have hope for my future – I feel worthwhile and capable of having a future. SSAIC absolutely saved my life and also provided me with the support needed to find joy in this life.

While Jill is not a real individual, her story represents the reality of many. The abuse that Jill experienced in childhood happens to 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys before the age of 18. In addition, many of the impacts and barriers to accessing support that Jill faced throughout her life are common experiences of survivors. 

This holiday season, please consider donating to SSAIC to save and enhance the lives of survivors in our community. Your support makes a difference.

#BelieveSurvivors #YouAreWorthy

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: believe, me too, resilience, sexual abuse, sexual assault, sexual violence, sexualized violence, worthy

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Saskatoon Sexual Assault & Information Centre

SSAIC is a Saskatoon-based, non-profit, charitable organization dedicated to taking a leadership role in responding to sexualized violence in our community.

SSAIC acknowledges that we operate on Treaty 6 Territory and the Homeland of the Métis. We pay our respects to the First Nations and Métis ancestors of this place.

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Saskatoon, SK S7K 4A7

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